The Gay Crete Blog Visits.....Australia!

Everyone visits Sydney, Australia, but other cities are available depending on what you want to do while you are visiting the sun burnt country....

Catching up a bit on last year's holiday can sometimes be a bit difficult but so far I have managed to cover Singapore! Hopefully this will catch prospective LGBT visitors to Australia before they have finalised their travel plans for this (northern) winter!

My journey began in Perth, Western Australia which is where I lived for a number of years back in the early 80's, and I am staying with friends and 'family' so I have no need for hotel accommodation although there are a couple of listings for accommodation on some web sites, Gay Traveller, for instance. Sadly the gay scene in Perth seems to have 'shrunk' since I lived there when everyone used to go to The Lion (and before that The Clarendon, commonly known as The Pink Palace, where Danny the ex-bus driver from Sydney was to be found behind the bar), and the main venue seems to be The Court.

The Court is located to the north of Perth city centre and is close to the main railway station and I must admit that I was a bit put off by their web site which said that everyone needed proof of age and would be photographed on the way in, nonetheless I headed there on a Friday night, only to find a long queue of teenagers waiting to get in, and I am sorry but nowhere is worth queuing for so I headed off to that most famous of haunts, Connies' in James Street.

It is nice to know that some things do not change, well not too much, and Connies is still there up that lethal staircase although when you get inside things are a little different with the bar now in a different place, and more glitter balls than you can poke a stick at. But where is everyone? It's Friday night it should be packed.

The bar staff are pleasant, the beer reasonably priced at A$9 for a small bottle, and only when I said I was going for a cigarette did I discover that they have a roof terrace for the smokers, complete with an outside bar and this is where everyone seems to be!

Although I do not really like to say it, if you are looking for a hectic gay nightlife then forget about Perth, I have no doubt it has its moments but really with only one or two bars to choose from, and a couple more 'up and coming' so I was told, there is not a lot going on. There is a Perth Bears page on FB for those interested though!

However Perth and the area still has attractions for some sectors of the population, notably some fine beaches including the more secluded beach at Swanbourne. Take the West Coast Highway north from Perth city and turn into Challenger Parade where you will find small car parks on the right, a short walk through the sand dunes will bring you to the beach close to the military base, and then use your eyes!

For those more sophisticated, Perth has some excellent restaurants and one big bonus is the number of wineries within easy reach both in The Swan River area and also further south at Margaret River.

Within Western Australia there is also some stunning scenery but your biggest problem is getting to see it all because of the vast distances involved (most of Europe would actually fit in the south western corner of the state), you really need a camper van and six months to get around it all! To the east the Goldfields and Kalgoorlie are also worth visiting.

I am leaving by train on the Indian Pacific to Adelaide, and this trip is a must for those who want relaxation while they watch the landscape roll by, the journey to Adelaide takes one and a half days, leaving Perth at lunchtime and arriving in Adelaide early in the morning two days later.

I was once told that Adelaide was a fine old city.....And I guess this is still true with some remarkably well preserved colonial buildings, most of which seem to be pubs! Like Perth, Adelaide seems to be stuck in a minor time warp and trying to find truly gay accommodation is like looking for a virgin in Sydney.....At the time I was trying to book a place I found only one listing for a b and b who informed me that they didn't have accommodation although they didn't make it clear whether they were full or perhaps they just didn't do accommodation...If you get my meaning.

I ended up booking through Rainbow Tourism and got a room at the Adelaide Paringa which is centrally placed for sight seeing and transportation, it is also a shortish walk to the Hampshire Hotel (near The Markets) which is one of the nicest gay/LGBT pubs I have been in for a long time, lively, noisy, but not too much so, and with bar staff who actually want to serve you. I went there for two nights in a row and saw all the same people both times so I guess the gay scene there is only limited which is surprising at South Australia was the first state to legalise homosexuality!

The second night of my visit it was so cold and wet that I ended up going to the sauna at Pulteney 431 to get warm.

So like Perth, Adelaide is not the place for the LGBT tourist looking for all night raging, but none the less a place where you can get elegantly pissed.....Like Western Australia, South Australia is renowned for its wineries and if you had the time you could spend weeks just wine tasting (and months drying out when you got home), I recommend that short afternoon wine tour that you can book at the tourist office.

Central Adelaide has its fair share of shops including one at the end of Rundle Street Mall that only sells chocolate, and a shop opposite that also only sells chocolate!

For the more cultured, Adelaide could be called the 'Festival City' as they seem to have festivals for just about everything during the course of the year...They also have cricket, while I was there there was a test match on but I managed to avoid it!

Having arrived in Adelaide by train. I left the same way, but this time on the Ghan to Alice Springs.....

Contrary to popular belief there are gay and lesbian people in Alice....I met up with one of them through GTN, who was kind enough to meet me off the train even though it was 9 hours late and show me the sights including the famous Bojangles Bar which is renowned for its steaks and also the vast amount of crap hanging from the walls and ceilings and the old Rover car in the backyard. In Alice there are one or two nice buildings including the one where Chas and Di got food poisoning, a botanic gardens named after a famous local lesbian, some extremely expesive souvenir shops selling some very nice glass, ceramics, and other 'art' and a variety of places to eat. There is a wonderful cafe near one end of Todd Mall that does an amazing chocolate gateau which the waitress assured me was chocolate/sugar/fat/carbohydrate free.

Of course the main reason for being in Alice is as a starting point for trips to Ayers Rock and King's Canyon (unless you are there to lose the family fortune in one of the casinos) and unless you want to do a lot of driving I recommend you take an organised tour which also includes one night accommodation in the middle of nowhere.

I took the Emu Run Tour the guys running it where hilarious and all the time kept telling us that in a minute we would see camels, wedge tailed eagles, and kangaroos. When we did finally see a kangaroo it was actually dead on the side of the road with a wedge tailed eagle busy feeding off it, but having said that their commentaries were knowledgeable and succinct and if you wanted to ask more then they had all the answers. They also provided an excellent BBQ at Uluru to watch the sunset with bubbly and wine whereas other tour outfits were only providing juice and water! Other tour companies are available and TailorMade Tours is another who provide private charters if you are feeling really flush!

Leaving Alice by Tiger Airways proved to be as dodgy as I was led to believe, as the flight was cancelled due to a bird strike so I spent an extra day/night in Alice, which made me a day late getting to Melbourne, I am still waiting for the compensation payment from Tiger Airways......But they are soooo CHEAP!

Arriving in Melbourne is like finding an oasis in the desert, and as you would expect from Australia's second city it does have night life for the LGBT traveller....Lots of it, but I suspect considerably more sedate than Sydney.

There is not a lot of truly 'gay' accommodation in Melbourne, much of what you will find listed is really only the normal 'chain' hotels and some expensive boutique accommodation, but you will find The Laird where, arriving a day late, I found Mark and Brett getting ready for the evening, not at all perturbed by my late arrival (they could have charged me for the night I was not there), or by the fact that my credit card did not work in their machine.....They have a cash machine in the front bar and it doesn't even charge you for withdrawals from a foreign bank account...They welcomed me to The Laird and gave me the key to my room which was easy enough to find on the first floor overlooking the beer garden at the back.

The only was to describe The Laird is as a Bear's Den...Decorated in wood and dark colours the room I had was big with lots of proper furniture and a big metal bed which only rattled a little bit, and a nice bathroom with a decent sized shower and lots of towels along with a request that please do not ask for towels to be changed unless you really need it, pretty normal these days, even I do it! Across the hall is a lounge for guests (there is a security door between the public areas of the pub and the accommodation), and next to it a kitchen, well stocked with food for making your own breakfast, including a machine that makes decent coffee!

At the top of the stairs is an internet point which turns out to be something of a meeting point as sooner or later you get to meet all the other residents as they sit checking their emails, the clientele down in the bar are pleasantly mixed in age group and style and the beer garden is where everyone seems to gather (beware of the possum which likes to sleep up in the pergola, like all possums it has a weak bladder and will piss on you if it gets half a chance, I was keeping an eye on it and moved as soon as it came my way). As this is specifically a gay male establishment there is a relaxed atmosphere everywhere something that you do not find in 'gay friendly' places no matter how many training courses they have been on, or how many certificates they have to say just that.

I was a bit worried about the fact that my room overlooked the garden as I thought it might be a bit noisy but I needn't have worried, the music is not that loud and the gentle buzz of conversation seemed to aid my sleep especially after I had relieved the bar staff of several measures of brandy.

Location-wise The Laird is close to some other gay/lesbian venues and they have a small map which shows them, you also get a free pass to Club 80 for the duration of your stay.

One other such venue is Sircuit which is within walking distance and I visited there on the Saturday night with one of my previous paying guests at Villa Ralfa. As a complete opposite to The Laird you could not get much further away. Sircuit is a big ground floor room, one end of which is taken up by pool tables (plural), the other end is standing room mainly centred around the bar. At one side is scaffolding so you can sit at an oil drum and watch the entertaining crowd below., the decorations are minimal (non-existent) with exposed pipes and conduit on the ceiling and not a lot of money spent on paint either.

At the front within the building, but outside on the street is a smoking area which is well attended, like you do I walked out there and bumped straight into a Greek guy from Heraklion, the world is a very small place sometimes.

At the back of the main room is a staircase which goes up to another smoking area on the roof and a cruising room...On the night I was there they had a free boot shine on the way up the stairs so I got my silver Reeboks dusted off, and on the next floor they were giving buzz cuts which probably gives you some idea of what Sircuit is all about. The toilets on the ground floor are stunning.

The Melbourne transport system is excellent and involves buses and trains networked together with a common ticket, take the Sunday special which you have to buy at Flinders Street station before the day and you can go just about everywhere for a few dollars, I went all the way to Knoxfield via Waverly for next to nothing to see my 'mother in law' and it all worked fine. The Laird is opposite Collingwood station so don't bother with taxis to get from the centre/airport as there is virtually no walking to do even with a heavy suitcase. Having said that do take the walk into Melbourne central, it is not a difficult walk and you pass through some of the old residential district with incredibly twee houses beautifully preserved, there is also a delightful park with some excellent plantings. You enter the city just about in the Greek quarter although it is not quite as Greek as you might expect. I stopped for a coffee at one of the Greek cafes only to find the guy behind the counter didn't speak any Greek!

My verdict on The Laird? Probably the best hotel I have stayed in for years, clean, comfortable, and friendly but if your style is Travelodge, Radisson, or Holiday Inn, then give it a miss as you will probably not enjoy living over the top of a gay bar. On the other hand give it a try, you might find that staying in a proper gay owned and run place is infinitely better than a place where you could be anywhere in the world!

By the way Melbourne in case you didn't know, is a cultural city with theatre, art gallery, and a lot of other things to see both in the city and around it. I was only at The Laird for three nights but could have happily spent a week or 10 days there, but this bunny is off to New Zealand early on the Monday morning!

Villa Ralfa Goes ‘On Tour’ Down Under - Part Two.....More Flights, and The Knotty Problem of Finding ‘Real’ LGBT Accommodation.

Having booked the main flights, and trains, for my gay travels down under, your intrepid traveller finds that there can be a problem booking exclusively LGBT accommodation, and that Greece is still a cheap place to stay!

A couple of my fans have mentioned that there are a couple more things which you should have to hand when doing this sort of thing, these are your passport as many airlines want your passport or ID card number when you book, and more importantly lots of ink and paper in your printer! The airlines must save a lot of money not having to provide you with an expensive multipart ticket these days, and do make sure that you actually print out your ‘e-ticket’ and not just the receipt for the booking!

Of course I am well aware how big Australia really is, as I lived there for a number of years, but having booked the train journey from Perth to Adelaide, and then on to Alice Springs where I pick up a two day bus tour to King’s Canyon and Ayer’s Rock, there is the problem of getting on to Melbourne to leave enough time there to see friends and my partner’s mother.

About the only airline that comes up on Google is Virgin Blue and at A$600 one way from Alice to Melbourne it is hardly cheap, (and takes forever because they fly via Sydney), as usual with these airlines everything seems to be an extra!

After a look at my favourite airline site Attitude Travel (http://www.attitudetravel.com/), I discover Tiger Airways. What starts out at A$47 for a one way flight soon turns into A$154 by the time I add my luggage, pay A$8 for a seat, and they add on a ‘Convenience Fee’ whatever that is!

And finally I have to get flights from Melbourne to Auckland, and from Wellington to Auckland to pick up my return flight to Singapore. Air New Zealand proved to be the cheapest choice for Melbourne to Auckland, Jetstar the cheapest and most convenient for Wellington to Auckland. It is amazing how trouble free things can be when you have a credit card that actually works!!

And then we come to accommodation....For much of my journey I am staying with friends and family which is the cheapest way!

But to be honest I also want to do a bit of a ‘consumer survey’ during my trip and see what other LGBT hotels have to offer and whether there is anything I can do better (or worse!). And there are a couple of places where I do not have friends (yet!), like Singapore, Adelaide, Alice Springs, and Auckland.

Now when I say LGBT, I mean LGBT owned and GLBT run, not one of the enormous international chains, or even a national chain, where you could actually be in any hotel in any city in the world and not know where, and where your money goes to head office wherever that is! Let’s face it we are gay and we want a proper gay establishment, not one where the staff have had special training as if we are people with ‘special needs’.

My priorities here are in this order,

1. LGBT owned and run
2. Location
3. Price.

As you know I can be a bit mean so it might seem odd to put price last, but many ‘gay’ hotels are very much boutique style which always tend to be more expensive, although I think some places still believe that there is a ‘pink’ dollar, or pound, or euro, so tend to be more pricey, (I don’t know why they think we have more money as recent surveys suggest that the 6% of the population that are ‘gay’ are responsible for 6% of spending, so they don’t spend any more or less than any other sector of the population).

As for location, there are some very nice GLBT places around but some of them are way out of town which is a bit inconvenient when the bars and local attractions are miles away, unless you have your own transport of course, which I don’t. And a couple of times I have to get up early to get to airports and railway stations!

Searching gay and lesbian directories, and the various sites dealing with ‘gay’ accommodation proved very disappointing for the locations where I wanted it most. For instance, Google produced only one result for Singapore, which on closer inspection looked like the rooms were for rent by the hour, and were sparsely furnished at that, although since then I have seen a review from somebody who stayed there and said it was fine......Fine if you like staying in a bathhouse that is, but when you get to a certain age you need somewhere with a few creature comforts!

Below are links to some of the sites that proved useful although I ended up in going to ‘gay friendly’ places which happened to be located just where I wanted them to be.

Australia proved to be the most difficult, and I don’t think anyone will be surprised when I say that Adelaide and Alice Springs proved to be the worst, New Zealand on the other hand proved very easy!

Trying to book LGBT accommodations in Adelaide did have it’s amusing side, as after the Qguide site proved fruitless (the one place listed came back and said ‘We do not have accommodation’), I tried the old favourite ploy of sending messages to people on line on Gaydar. Out of six messages sent, two didn’t reply, one said ‘I do not know of such things as I am not gay’, (I didn’t understand that one either), two came up with logical suggestions, and the last sent me the following message, and I quote verbatim...... “Hey Tim! Thanks for your message. God! You poor bugger! Adelaide is a complete gay desert! An inbred cesspool of cheating 'happily married' queers and mental retards! Not a normal gay bloke to be found!”. Which probably explains the ‘I’m not gay’ response! In the end I chose a hotel listed as gay friendly, but just happening to be in a convenient place.

I did make contact with someone in Alice Springs who proved very helpful with advice about tours, but as both nights that I would be spending in The Alice were late to bed and early to rise days, I didn’t worry too much and just booked something convenient.

For Melbourne there were a number of listings on various web sites, strangely these proved to be gay-friendly only, when in fact Melbourne has a couple of quite good gay owned/run places the names of which I got from a friend who lives there.

And what about prices?

I deliberately avoided ‘budget’ accommodation as in many cases this is going to be youth hostels or back-packers accommodation, not that I have anything against backpackers, I have met some very nice ones in my time, so I took the lower end of mid-price accommodation. Strangely accommodation in Australia and New Zealand seemed to be the same price in both dollar currencies which for us Europeans means that New Zealand was the cheapest place! Working on this basis a room for two costs around $120 per night in both A$ and NZ$, and in Singapore, S$175 per night for two. As a rough guide NZ$120 is £60 or €70, A$120 is £80 or £90, and S$175 is £90 or €100 respectively. Note that these prices are for two, no reduction for single travellers like we do at Villa Ralfa, (and quite common in Greece and Europe generally!)

For more about where I stayed and what I got up to you will have to wait until I write up all my notes and do some more blogs, but for now I will give you the web sites I found most useful.

http://www.topgayhotels.com/, http://www.qguide.com.au/, http://www.gaystay.co.nz/, proved most useful for accommodation, the Gaystay NZ web site lists a lot of gay accommodation, probably more than there is in the UK, especially useful for those touring around. The Qguide web site is very strange as sometimes it is there and another time not. I didn’t look to see where it is hosted but there seems to be problems with web sites in Australia generally. When I was planning my trip I took this problem to be at my end, only when I got there did I realise this was not the case.

http://www.utopia-asia.com/, is an excellent site for things to do in Singapore and Asia generally, there was a bit of a shortage of accommodation in Singapore so I used http://www.rainbowtourism.com/ , which also gave me useful accommodation in Adelaide.

http://www.galta.com.au, is a generally useful site, it has many listings around Adelaide too but as these were not central and I had a train to catch they were generally too far away!

http://www.starobserver.com.au/ and http://blaze.gaynewsnetwork.com.au/ are both news sites, they are also the home of some free gay newspapers and mags which have a lot of info in them, plus there are some classifieds on the web site. Good for looking at current affairs and events.

http://www.pinkboard.com.au also provides some accurate information and maps on various locations in Australia, while http://www.outinperth.com/ provides information specifically on Perth WA.

This sounds just like the Oscars doesn’t it!!??

And finally my thanks to a long time friend in Melbourne who suggested I stay at The Laird in Melbourne, an Australian pub in the true tradition, http://www.lairdhotel.com/, and also to the fellow members of the Gay Travellers Network, who came up trumps with things to do in Singapore http://www.gaytravellersnetwork.com !!

Villa Ralfa Goes ‘On Tour’ Down Under - Part One.....Bookings Flights and The Pitfalls of Using a Credit Card.

Booking your holidays as an independent gay or lesbian traveller has never been easier and here are some of my experiences and do’s and dont’s, when booking your tickets and accommodation.

Yes, even humble gay hotel owners from Crete, Greece sooner or later need a break from home and as avid followers who hang on my every word, (you do, don’t you?), you will know that I am a great exponent of booking holidays independently, eschewing the conventional travel agents and travel web sites but you do need to a bit of planning, especially if you have a lot of stopovers and side trips to make!

I don’t say that it would have been impossible to book this through an agency, but I think even the most patient of travel agents would have been tearing their hair out after this one.

First off, plan your holiday.

I know this sounds silly, after all you are supposed to be taking it easy, but you cannot start to book anything unless you know where you are going and why! If you just want sun, sea, sand, and maybe a bit of sex thrown in then anywhere where you are going to find these, will do, well almost....Forward planning is essential (as is booking flights well in advance to make sure you get a seat and more often the best prices, and if you work in an organisation, that you will be able to take the time off when you want it).

In my case and this holiday, I wanted to go and see friends and relatives in Australia and New Zealand, catch up with my partner’s two boys and their children, and also visit some places like Alice Springs and Ayers Rock, that I never got to see when I lived in Perth, WA. And also make at least part of the journey across Australia by rail, something I wanted to do even before Michael Palin did it!

But I wanted to do it in a relaxing way with not too much flying and not too many airports.....I am going on holiday after all! And I have a month to do it.

Second, what you will need.

A credit card (or debit card, although some airlines will not take these), with plenty of credit on it, and an expiry date beyond your date of return. I say this because some airlines will not accept a card which expires before your return journey. Or that expires before you leave come to that.

Thirdly, check whether you need a visa to visit your chosen destination.

There are still many countries that require you to have a visa. In this case I am travelling to Australia which certainly does. Fortunately you no longer have to visit an Australian High Commission or Embassy to get this, and you do not need to go through a visa ‘agency’ either, as you can do it on line. (Some more advice on using the Australian on line visa application follows later).

Always apply for visas before you do anything else, they are usually valid for a year, and sometimes they do get refused, so if you have already paid for your airfare you are not going to get it back.

With the benefit of hindsight I will say, ‘Do not even look at flights until you have got the visa’.

So off we go.....

From my point of view it is easier for me to fly from Athens and like most International airport’s the AIA web site lists the airlines and destinations serviced, OK, I have flown Singapore Airlines before, and guess what? They do a flight on exactly the day I want it, giving me time to do a stopover in Singapore to recover from the time difference before I hit Perth. Even better the Singapore web site gives you the chance to book multiple ‘legs’ too, useful, if like me, you want to travel overland, but pick up a return flight from Auckland NZ.

First mistake is actually to go through the process to find out how much it costs....And I haven’t got a visa yet....And the price I get back is superb to say the least.

Putting in the on line application for an Australian visa is not easy. There are pages and pages of it, and lots of boxes to fill in. Make sure you save each page as you complete it and or course, make a note of the reference number!!!! You will need it to recall and complete the application if anything goes wrong, and on the day I did it there was nothing but problems with my Internet connection. At the end of the process there was no acknowledgment screen as I expected. So has it been sent or not? Three days later I am still not sure and trying to navigate through the web site to see the status of the application is well nigh impossible! Finally I enlisted the help of a friend in Perth who called the visa office, (in Tasmania, I believe), who confirmed that they had got it and were processing it manually because something had gone wrong. (Tell me about it!)

By this stage I am worrying about whether my nice cheap convenient flight would still be available! Checking the Singapore web site still shows it.....On day 4 my application for the Australian visa appears on their system, and three days after that I get the visa itself. Fast work there boys!

Too late, the flight I wanted is now full, and, all of a sudden, the flight from Auckland back to Singapore has trebled in price....Disappointment could have set in at this point, but hey, I allowed for a bit of flexibility didn’t I?

Well, actually, no I didn’t. A further check on flights doesn’t really help because returning later puts me too close to Christmas, and leaving earlier is too soon because I have arranged the house and dog-sitter already....And in the meantime I have been checking out my rail journeys in Australia and the Indian Pacific only travels on two days a week, and as I have decided to take The Ghan from Adelaide to Alice, then that trip is also pretty well fixed too.

Always have a Plan B, or C, or D, or Z even.

In this case, depart from a different airport. A quick check shows that Singapore Air, (and other airlines) have more frequent departures from London Heathrow, and although I was trying to avoid the extra flights, it was always in the back of my mind. Being idle doesn’t always pay off!

As we have visas in place and have organised some extra credit on my card, it makes sense to book the flight straight away, working out how to get from Crete to London Heathrow can wait! Available flights are leaving when I want, and strangely the Auckland NZ to Singapore leg that was so expensive before has now gone down!

I work my way through the booking process, making sure that I am not trying to depart from somewhere that I haven’t got to yet, and we arrive at the final screen ready to press the button that says ‘BUY’, except nothing happens.....Go back, click ‘Refresh’, re-send the data, try again....Just a message clearly placed there by my card provider. Close browser, clear data, try again, going all the way through the whole process again...Still no joy. (In the meantime I am also getting a warning message from Singapore Air that my credit card expires before I am travelling and that I will need to take my card to their nearest office to get is validated!)

Now incensed, I call my card provider in the UK (from Greece at peak time!), thinking that they have mucked up the increased credit limit, ‘Not so,’ says the young gentleman I speak to. I read the message out loud to him, ‘Ahh,’ he says, ‘I will put you through to ‘Clicksafe’, and finally get a nice Irish lady, and after explaining things to her she tells me that they are actually a separate company acting as sub-contractors to my card provider. After taking me through security, (one day they will ask something else other than my DOB and if there are any other card holders), she asks me what I am trying to do, I tell her and she says ‘That is what I can see here too’. Sometimes these people are so helpful.

‘You can’t do that with that card,’ she says, ‘Your credit limit isn’t high enough.’

I explain that the credit limit has been increased by the card provider.

‘Ah yes,’ she says, ‘But that is nothing to do with our credit limit. You can only use it up to £50.’

I don’t know whether they have ‘Clicksafe’ in other countries, I sincerely hope not, and if you can avoid signing up with it if you are in the UK, then do so.....

By now I am getting really pee’d off, and have done several ‘Back’ clicks on the Singapore Air web site trying, successfully, to retain the flight and price.

She takes me through a further set of security questions, omitting to ask me my inside leg measurement and the results of any recent sperm count. And finally tells me to try again.

Having not refreshed the screen often enough, the Singapore web site has now timed out due to inactivity! Fortunately for the world at large, starting all over again I finally get to book the flight.

Now you might think this is the end of this story, but of course, this is me we are talking about.

With plentiful flights from Crete to Athens, and Athens to London, during the winter months there is no rush to get on with the connecting flights, but train journeys within Australia, and now that I have had time to look more closely, New Zealand as well, are now priority jobs if I am to avoid flying again for a while after I get to Perth.

Buying through an Australian web site is something of an experience, for a start they don’t ask for the CCV number on the back, and they don’t worry about expiry dates on cards either, even though I am travelling after the expiry date. Even better the Great Southern Railway allows you to book and only pay a deposit, a great help of your credit is limited. And to be honest the whole booking is experience seems more relaxing and laid back, than, say Singapore Airlines, or even Easyjet!

I try to book the Indian Pacific from Perth to Adelaide. Without much information and no informative error messages it just tells me that they cannot complete the transaction and try again later. I try again later, but this time booking The Ghan from Adelaide to Alice. Success, all goes well and I even get the email confirmation for instructions on paying the balance.

I try the Indian Pacific again, still no joy.

I try to book my Easyjet flights to and from Athens to London, that will not work either, but then I manage to book those with a debit card which expires in two days time. Don’t you just love Easyjet?

I try to book flights with Aegean for the Crete/Athens leg with my credit card, no it definitely does not want to work.

I try to book the Indian Pacific again, still no joy. In desperation because it is important, I use my Greek credit card, hey presto, it works. So what is wrong with my English credit card?

The following morning I am emailed a copy of a letter from the security department of my card provider in the UK. They have tried to phone me, they say, which is a lie, because the only number they have is a UK mobile and that has not rung in weeks. In the meantime they have blocked my card for suspicious activity and could I please call them.

To bloody right I can call them, in peak time again too because they only work 9 to 5. I am not sure what happens if you want to report a stolen card outside those times.

Finally after more security questions during which I asked, in a voice heavy with sarcasm, if they would like my vaccination certificates too, and explaining why I am trying to use my card outside the UK, I get the block lifted. Is this something to do with the financial crisis in the UK I wonder?

And with my heart aflutter and a song on my lips, I manage to book the Indian Pacific, and the Transcenic rail journey from Auckland to Wellington.

This is more than enough for one blog, so I will leave you with the pleasant thought that I still have to book some internal flights in Oz and NZ. And I haven’t even started on accommodation yet!

Part Two will deal with the impossibility of finding true LGBT hotels and accommodation around the world, and booking a flight with the Australian version of Ryanair!